As part of our aftercare support, we have commissioned some articles from our resident therapist.
A farewell is chance to further emotionally process, facilitate acceptance, mark significant moments and aid with grieving.
It’s also chance to create a new memory with the celebration of their life and so strengthening the bond of this new chapter with them carved into your psyche as a memory with highlights that can be shared or private to you more firmly placed in your heart.
Memories sit in our nervous system (your neurology) and can be strengthened by reliving moments setting a spark of energy (technically it is) through your system and so the very process of remembrance is a powerful act. Your heart is a highly electric organ with the switching on and off of muscle fibres regularly, you literally can’t get closer to an affinity to marking this momentous transition.
It’s easier if the person in question left distinct plans and wants for this. Not so, if plagued with ambiguity and many feeling that what they want for this person is ‘right’ according to them.
With ashes from a cremation there of course is some flexibility in keeping many happy with any decisions. To spread in places loved by the deceased or for those who feel the very presence of their physical ashes of value and a comfort to keep. There are no time lines with this. Sometimes a marking of this person’s life that was poignant to them may be the day, and not necessarily the next marker day coming up. It could take years before this event is right for you to do so, so be easy on yourself with this.
You can see the many practical variations and how to go about this here at DirectCremation.co.uk, so let’s look at what and why this can be so important to our mourning process.
To read more from this series, please click here or contact one of the bereavement support groups here.