As part of our aftercare support, we have commissioned some articles from our resident therapist.
Grief is a normal part of being human and in some of our mammal and animal neighbours. Attachment to those we hold in love and of great value impact our being in ways we often haven’t considered the depth of, until gone.
It is a process which we call mourning. The problem with this natural and necessary process is that none of us want to be there. Held in what seems like a sense of disbelief with frayed edges of moving feelings, emotions (e -motion, feelings in motion) beginning to swirl around it all. It’s finally happened.
Coupled with the practicalities of arrangements for what’s next, the human and emotional side can’t be shoe boxed away but can be better understood. It’s a rare situation and one that none of us want to visit too many times in the span of our lives.
Confidence in the process of mourning can feel alien. A new and sometimes bewildering landscape with no ‘map’ or clear direction for respite or escape. Sometimes this is when any dependency or turning to ‘numbing’ mechanisms can be heightened like drinking alcohol. It’s understandable but will not delete what has happened and your own ability to know that you will survive this process without numbing what can be made worse by debilitating your health, when you need it the most.
In the West we have a peculiar relationship with grief and mourning. Something to resent, avoid and feel uncomfortable to talk about and be in around others, with others sometimes not knowing what to say, or do.
It’s a difficult space.
A time to be easy on yourself and with some awareness you can better navigate this part of your life. Further understanding the mechanisms of this raw and incredibly hard new reality is something you will know more clearly what, where and how to process, hopefully with some support from these short articles.
The cremation doesn’t have to be the end of the grieving process. It’s a process with no clear delineation. No time limits.
To read more from this series, please click here or contact one of the bereavement support groups here.